


How Far This Goes

by sunshinelollipops (pandapop)



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Past Lovers, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Introvert Past!Ryan, Jealousy, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, RPF, Rating May Change, The wheeze is ever present, They had a past and are now pretty bitter about it, Unresolved Sexual Tension, add more tags as I go, author cant tag right, but more angst, but not really?, but they're sweet as hell in the past, first bfu fic, past ryan doesnt swear, they're both dicks in the present
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 16:05:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15465084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandapop/pseuds/sunshinelollipops
Summary: And just like that, Ryan exhales the breath he’s been holding since he’s seen Shane freaking Madej, in the flesh, right here in L.A., for the first time in eight years, and he curses every God that possibly exists in every possible heavens.“Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”Or; Ryan and Shane both made promises they couldn't keep. Years later, both promises come back to bite them both in the asses.





	How Far This Goes

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome! This is my very first fic in this fandom and honestly Im a little nervous. This idea has been playing in my head for a while now and so I thought "EY? Why not write it?" So here's the prologue to this lump of schmuck idea I've decided to write into words.
> 
> Much needed disclaimer: This has nothing to do with the boys IRL in any way. This is just pure fiction and made out of self-indulgence.

_The bright rays of the afternoon sun gave a calm, serene feeling to the silent unoccupied walls of the school library. Yellows hugged the blank white walls that poured a sense of warmth and security through Ryan’s chest. He finds himself smiling as he watches his fingers skim through spines of books, taking his time in reading each title without being taken for some sort of weirdo because really, who would be so obsessed with the paranormal that they’d spend the rest of after-school hours in the supernatural section?_

_Ryan Steven Bergara. That’s who, and he doesn’t give a schtick. Nobody’s around to judge him and his interests anyway—everyone has either gone home or is occupying the much bigger study hall four floors below. Nobody sticks around this old and cramped little library lest they’ve got something to find(if they even know of it’s existence), and Ryan loves it._

_Since the librarian, Mrs. Horsely, retired during Ryan’s freshman year(having had only two months to share with the lovely old woman), Principal McClintock officially gave him the door’s key, as Mrs. Horsely’s last request of him before she left. Ryan’s hand clenches a little at the thought just as he reaches the end of the shelf. He really does miss her company. How she passionately lectures him about history while he helps her dust the shelves because she sneezes easily._

_He hasn’t cleaned in a while now that he thinks about it, yet it catches him completely off-guard when, coincidentally, a very not-like-an-old-lady sneeze suddenly echoes throughout the small library._

_Ryan’s hand immediately flies up to clutch at his chest in an effort to calm down his mini-heart attack, admittedly a little embarrassed right after. Sure, he hasn’t heard or seen any other human beings enter since the end of the last semester(because the study hall was full during finals), but a sneeze shouldn’t be worthy of such a reaction. Even for him. “Christ, Ryan…” He whispers to himself._

_Then again, a sneeze would also indicate that there is, in fact, another human being in the room. And judging from how close it sounded Ryan assumes said human is sitting on one of the reading tables—right behind the shelf he’s currently standing in front of._

_Curiosity bubbles up in his chest along with confusion, silently walking back to the other side of the shelf. Curious because who even bothers to come up here(especially after finals), and confused because who the heck even_ wants _to come up here(AFTER FINALS)? Ryan thought maybe someone could be looking for him(though Brent’s his only friend, and also uninterested in any form of literature), but that wouldn’t make much sense. Maybe it’s a ghost because Ryan didn’t sense anybody coming into the room since he got here…unless whoever it is got here first. But that would be weird, because they would’ve said something earlier, but also ghosts don’t sneeze do they—GAH._

_He’s already fumbling with his glasses by the time he’s reached the left side of the shelf, knowing that if he takes out one book from the shelf as well as the book behind it, he’d be able to see the tables on the other side without having to make his presence known. As passive and friendly as he could be, he’d prefer to be away from social interaction as much as possible thankyouverymuch. His heartbeat’s starting to race just thinking about who could possibly be in the same room as him._

_Ryan reaches up to silently pull a book off with shaky fingers, sighing before reaching out even further to take out the book behind it._

_As soon as the tables, along with the person sitting by one of them, come into view, Ryan’s heart stops beating altogether._

_(“So it’s not a ghost…” he whispers really quietly to himself, almost dazed-like.)_

_Sitting in one of the small wooden chairs(that Ryan swears was originally made for toddlers) with a book perched up on one hand is a man. He’s wearing a flannel, all buttoned up except by the collar, and the five o’ clock shadow he’s sporting could’ve fooled Ryan into thinking he was somewhat old, but everything else about his features made him look young and…handsome. Almost dreamy. Ryan wants to punch himself._

_But who could blame him really? It’s not like he can help himself from thinking so because the guy’s genuinely not that bad to look at, especially with those eyes. The way they droop a little at the sides, making his expression a little sleepy-like(but not in a bad way), the way the sun’s dimming light coming from beside him somehow highlights the brown in his irises as they intensely scan over one side of the page to the other. Ryan’s breath hitches, wondering if that’s how he looks like when he’s just as engrossed in his books(and if he looks just as enchanting)._

_Then, all of a sudden, he laughs. His broad shoulders shake a little, his mouth opening up a little to let out a small breathless laugh, and those eyes crinkling as his cheeks rise and Ryan feels overwhelmed with emotion—_

_He drops one of the books he’s holding._

_Not realizing until it’s too late, he drops the second book too in shock of dropping the first one. What follows after that is a long, stony silence, and a mortified expression he can feel slowly growing on his face._

_The man’s head had snapped up at the sounds, making Ryan scramble over himself to hide away from the hole’s view, back to the shelf, hand clutching his chest again for an entirely different reason._

_‘RYAN YOU FUDGING IDIOT WHAT HAVE YOU DONE—‘_

_“Uh, hello? Is anyone there?”_

_Ryan blanks out for a second at the heavenly sound of the man’s voice—‘NO. STOP EMBARASSING YOURSELF FURTHER—‘_

_Ryan’s self-scolding is interrupted by the sound of the toddler chair scraping backwards, followed by footsteps walking in his direction. His heart is just about ready to pop out of his ribcage, and at this point any normal person would think he could just confront the guy and apologize for making noise._

_Well, like he’s said, he’s a complete idiot._

_Ryan fast-walks(runs) behind the  left side of the next shelf just as the footsteps had rounded by the right side of the supernatural section. He doesn’t dare make a sound, even when the man’s footsteps pause for a second before walking in his direction again. This time he goes through the section, practically sprinting towards the other side just before the man could finish making the turn, Ryan catching a short glimpse of his back(good lord he’s tall) just as he turns on the left side of the shelf and pauses again._

_The chase goes on for a few more seconds. By the time Ryan’s already hiding by the History section while the guy’s somewhere in the Romantic Literature section a few shelves behind, he hears the man’s breathless laugh again._

_(‘Wheeze, Ryan, I believe is the right word.’ His inner self supplies.)_

_Ryan still chooses to stay quiet. Maybe if he avoids him and stays quiet long enough, the man will go back to reading and he can go back to staring at him like a crazy high school girl. (Which he kind of is anyway, just being a boy instead.)_

_“Hey, person, you do know I can hear you walking around right?”_

_Shizkabobs. What to do now?_

_“Are you afraid of me?”_

_Oh._

_Ryan actually stops to ponder over replying, because this whole thing is stupid. What_ is _he so afraid of? It’s just some attractive looking dude, it’s not like he hasn’t talked or walked past any of those before. How hard is it to just introduce himself like any normal person would do? Maybe give him a bit of a welcome because this is technically his personal library. Just…why not?_

_When the man’s footsteps start again after over a minute of no reply and he says the first panicked thought that comes to mind, Ryan remembers why._

_“Ghost!”_

_He’s an idiot._

_The footsteps stop. Of course. “I’m sorry, what?”_

_“I’m a ghost.” Ryan says because what has he got to lose other than his pride and chances of properly meeting this cute guy without outing himself as a weirdo? At this point, it’s practically none anymore. “I’m not afraid of anything. If anything, you should be afraid of me.”_

_Ryan sits down on the floor and leans against the shelf, bringing his hands up to his eyes to try and rub off the embarrassment he currently feels. He expects that the man is weirded out now, probably gonna leave any second. God, he fudged up badly, like always._

_What he doesn’t expect to hear, however, is the man snorting._

_(Which somehow manages to sound good too. What the heck Ryan.)_

_“You? A ghost? Pretty sure that’s impossible dude.”_

_Ryan looks up from where he apparently buried his face in his arms in confusion. “Um, what do you mean?”_

_His laugh again. “Well, I’m pretty sure it goes without saying that ghosts aren’t real? Sooo you can’t be one.”_

_Something sparks up in Ryan’s chest at that._

_He stands up, carefully leaning back against the shelf. “E-Excuse me? How would someone like you be so sure?”_

_He hears the man scoff. “I don’t have to be? It’s simply science baby! Floating invisible dead people don’t, more like can’t, exist.”_

_“T-That’s not true! There are h-hundreds of video evidences and unsolved cases that have been way too complex to be hoaxes. They’ve all been compelling enough to be real.”_

_“Yeah. Real fake.”_

_Ryan huffs out in annoyance._

_“What about me? I’m pretty real.” The man scoffs again, but didn’t seem to be planning to move again anytime soon, so Ryan continues. “I b-bet you’re just too afraid in the possibility that there might be more than what you think you know.”_

_Silence follows Ryan’s statement. He thinks he might have fudged up again when he hears the man hum. “Well, I think I_ do _know that ghosts aren’t real.”_

_“Hey—!”_

_“—but you are.”_

_The words catch Ryan off-guard. “H-Huh?”_

_“Yep. You. I believe you’re real.” Ryan wasn’t prepared for the sudden blush to creep it’s way into every part of his face. “Whatever you are. You’re pretty something.”_

_Alright, he just blew up._

_“W-W-W-WELL. Ghosts are real then, because I’m a ghost!”_

_“You wish.”_

_“No I don’t.”_

_Ryan can practically hear the (gorgeous)smile in his voice when he says, “Wow, ghosts are pretty stubborn...”_

_“Aha! So you admit—“_

_“…if they were real.”_

_“…Poophead.”_

_The man wheezes again. “The word is asshole, second grader.”_

_“Shut up.” Ryan counters, but even he can’t deny the small giggles slipping out of his voice. “I can’t help it.”_

_The both of them laugh at each other for a few more seconds before it slowly dies down into a comfortable silence—at least on Ryan’s part. He tenses up a little when it the quiet starts getting a little too long._

_“Sorry, by the way. If I bothered you.” The man says finally. Ryan perks up in confusion, because it should be the other way around. He was the one who bothered him by revealing his stupid presence. Before he could fully comprehend what the guy meant, the latter followed with a quick “I’m gonna leave now. Sorry, again.”_

_Ryan doesn’t even think twice. As soon as the footsteps started again, this time going in the other direction, he shouts “Wait!”_

_They stop. He peeks from the shelf he’s hiding from, once again looking at the man’s back, relieved that he caught him before he got past the door._

_“I-I’m uh, I’m a ghost. So I get pretty lonely here sometimes.” He watches the man’s shoulders shake in a laugh(that he sadly doesn’t hear this time), and his heart is melting. “It…literally wouldn’t hurt me to have a l-little company…even if that company’s you.”_

_He laughs again, and this time Ryan hears it. He laughs a little too, more nervously, before saying, “So, you know, uh…come by anytime but, you know…onlyifyouwanttokgoodbye.”_

_Ryan hides behind the shelf again, bracing himself for rejection of the worst kind when suddenly—_

_“Not goodbye.” The man’s voice quietly says, as if to declare it, and it echoes all around the little library. Ryan warms up again. “See you. See you later Mr. Ghost.”_

_He listens as the man leaves, door closing behind him. Ryan slides down to the floor, face buried into his knees again, this time smiling stupidly._

_“Yeah…see you.”_

* * *

__

Ryan sees him.

For the first time in eight years, he sees him.

The same handsome, tall, droopy-eyed man, as he exits the café across the street from where Ryan is. Except he’s not mostly the same—he’s grown even more handsome, probably a little taller, but those eyes are most definitely the same.

The same brown, beautiful, enchanting, _deceiving_ eyes.

The same eyes that catch him staring right at that moment as he raised one arm to catch a cab, the other slung around some girl’s shoulder.

And just like that, Ryan exhales the breath he’s been holding since he’s seen Shane freaking Madej, in the flesh, right here in L.A., for the first time in eight years, and he curses every God that possibly exists in every possible heavens.

“Oh, you’ve got to be _fucking_ kidding me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Comments would be nice :) I'd like to know what you think!  
> And updates might be weekly, depends on how busy I get.  
> Thanks for reading!


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